Why Caravan Parks Will Be Awesome Once Millennials Inherit The Earth

Although we like to think of it about as often as homeownership, eventually us Millennials will get too old for van life. It won’t be today, and it won’t be tomorrow (unless you’re reading this in 15 years time) but one day we’ll look at a caravan and go ‘actually that looks alright’. And there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact, it’s already happening. Smaller caravans that can be towed by any car are hitting the digital nomad market and Millennials are getting ready to embrace #caravanlife.

However, the only problem with caravanning is that it inevitably leads you to a caravan park. Simply put, caravan parks are daggy. As a young person, socialising at a caravan park comes with a little fear that you’re seconds away from being called soft or becoming the audience of a racist joke.

But fear not, because over the next 40 years, caravan parks are going to get so much better! Here is my completely sincere and not at all sarcastic or satirical list of why caravan parks will be full 100 emoji once Millennials become grey nomads or as we will call ourselves the Slay Nomads.

*Bulli Beach Caravan Park. Don’t know what to do for photos in this article so just look at snaps from our last working beach week.*

The Venues Will Be Lit

This one is exciting as it’s already happening. In Cape Tribulation I stayed at a camp ground with a wicked bar that did great wood fired pizza. In Bulli there’s a caravan park with a cafe that’s so good people go there even when they’re not staying at the park and in Wallaga Lake there is a camp ground with a brewery inside the park. I expect these facilities to become the national standard of caravan parks once Millennials travel the nation to spend their kid’s inheritance.

In my mind I am picturing beachside bars, farm to table eateries and destination breweries that make the trip profoundly worthwhile. I’m picturing flexible workspaces with Wi-Fi, bean bags and 3D printers. Far out, once Millennial politicians legalise cannabis it won’t be long before some serious bong head caravan parks start making headlines. I see caravan parks that become so well known for their venues that they sell t-shirts you can wear proudly to show what a slay nomad you’ve become.

They Will Be Aesthetic AF

As a Millennial, I can admit we are obsessed with things looking nice for a photo, especially when we’re on bloody holiday for God’s sake! Not only are we gonna be ‘rewilding’ the campgrounds, we will be going full bush aesthetic to add a touch more of that privacy we crave and feel just that little bit more surrounded by nature. I’m picturing reclaimed wood, bush baths and mason jars full of birdseed.

Additionally, I can see some slay nomads leaning into the old school aesthetic of caravan parks with well kept vintage caravans providing aging Millennials with a big dopamine boosting hit of nostalgia. Picture orange crockery, vintage Tupperware and tea towels with illustrated maps on them, all ready to feature in some cracking Instagram stories, an app our kids will make fun of us for still using.

*Oh, we will be binging out in the annex.*

Environment Will Be V Important

The rewilding won’t just be for looks, we’re going to care about the environment in all the ways we are promising to now.

Sites will have rubbish, recycling, food scraps, worm farms and compost bins with the nutrients of the latter two going into the organic herb garden you’re invited to forage in for dinner ingredients. Surely powered camp sites will have solar as a default or carbon neutral at the very least. Natural beauty should be a priority, especially as a few of us male Millennials are already sharpening up our birdwatching skills so we’re ready to spot the menagerie of avian life we are going to be live twitching.

At the time of writing, so many retreats aimed at young people promise to be eco-friendly and carbon neutral. Not that I’m overly optimistic but surely that love the environment won’t fade just because our hair starts falling out? If we really care about the environment we’ll make sure to keep loving it in our old age.

*Will we one day be sledging our SO with new-boomer humour?*

The One Massive Downside…

Guys, it’s going to be so expensive. Unfortunately, none of these massive improvements will come cheap. In 20 years, beer at the onsite brewery will be near $20 a schooner, scenic spots will cost more than a weeks rent and as we all know, something that’s environmentally friendly inevitably comes with premium pricing.

Over the years Millennials have been accused of ruining motorbike sales, chain restaurants and the workforce. When we get into caravanning while an older generation is still at the helm the price is going to go up because history shows that when met with price gouging all we do is sigh, pay up and make memes. Eventually, we will be the boomers at the helm, perhaps we will pilfer the young for profit and balance or perhaps we’ll resist because we know how it feels. Either way, today’s hotel prices are the futures powered site rates. Luckily…

We’ll Be Old & Won’t Give A Shit

Aging, allegedly, comes with a side of wisdom. Aging gracefully is not just about hairlines and moisturiser, part of it is surely accepting that you’re old and living in peace with that. It has been said that many spend their 20s worrying people are talking about them, your 30s is not caring if people are talking about you and your 40s is realising no one was talking about you. All things going well, we’ll have found an anti-dep that works for us and are well past the age of giving a rat about brand names and social status. By then, perhaps the life we’ve lived has taught us the best time is right now on this folding chair with our best friend on one side and a cold one on the other.