Why You Shouldn’t Go To Geneva

Look, I’m an honest guy or at least, I try to be one on camera. If you’ve ever watched my beer reviews then you know my honest opinion can approach on meandering. When I started to find Geneva too expensive I didn’t want to keep it in anymore. I was absolutely sick of it.

On camera the city is stunningly beautiful, azure water in the lake and medieval stone works that always look like they’ve just been dusted. The place is clean, there’s delicious food and the people are helpful, respectful and attentive. The cost of this does not come cheap and I don’t think anything you read can accurately prepare you for it, even if you plan your days out which I obviously don’t.

Our final Planned vs Rogue episode of season one should give you an idea though! Watch in now if you haven’t because I’m about to spoil the whole thing!

Yeah look, I think I tried in this one. Katie’s theme was so much fun and this was halfway through our shooting schedule so we were really getting in a rhythm by now. After Cologne, I never wanted to quit again and to be honest I don’t think I did. Katie just had such an amazing day which I can 100% recommend. Check out Katie’s blog for the winning day although I’ll point out the whole day set us back over $500 AUD which is roughly what we budgeted for both days on previous episodes.

Anyway, here’s my day you big weirdo!

A Big Hike from La Plaine

I had to get out of the city. I love nature and just wanted to be around an environment that wasn’t trying to plug a catheter into my wallet. The train to La Plaine was inexpensive and only about half an hour there. I bought the Komoot app outright that was $60 for lifetime use as I figured I’d use it back in Australia and anywhere else I’d travel to again. Easy app to use, useful in terms of breaking down how much uphill and downhill you’ll be doing. Some of the sights it recommended were a little dodgy but overall I’d use it again (and I have).

The hike itself was long but full of beautiful moments from the cosy bird watching huts, amazing views, impressive damn and a lady riding a horse past us. Of course, I brought snacks that we had in our apartment but we were starving when we made it to the town along the trail.

Cartigny

I didn’t get to see that many small towns on our trip which is a shame because European villages are so cosy, often the sorts of experiences people rave about. Incorrectly labelled as Russin in the episode, Cartigny is so warm, cute and floral. They have their own village flag which everywhere has in Europe but it’s still so novel to me. It’s like wandering around Westeros but with less chance a knight will run around the bend and bash my head in with a mace.

There were so nice venues with lovely outdoor seating but we arrived just after lunch service so the only place still selling food was this cafe where we loaded up on pastries. The pastries were fine, the apricot one was the best but they really didn’t hit the spot. A little annoying considering if we had not looked around so much we might have gotten a table for lunch but ah well, that’s being rogue, sometimes it works, some times it doesn’t. Courtyard was beautiful regardless.

Au Petit Chalet

Katie did fondue on her day so I couldn’t do it on mine. However, raclette is a Swiss classic and a reminder of an after school snack my sister, aunt and I used to have; cheese on a plate (our name for microwaved cheese). I was a little disappointed it wasn’t served tableside but it was still so delicious and Katie let me have the little bit of rind that came in her serving. It’s food you’re meant to play with which is a delightful rebellion for anyone who was told not to play with their food as a kid.

We both loved our rosties which to me are like the fanciest all day breaky possible. Staff friendly, funny and super cool about us filming there. I don’t remember the price, possibly due to me blocking it out.

Two Disappointing Bars

Rather than crossing Puente de Mont-Blanc again, we got the ferry which was lovely, especially as the sun was setting. In previous days (including Katie’s) I thought the east area of Geneva looked like it had a bit going on and it kind of did. I found the bar I liked the look of, Tom Beers. I thought it looked fun because aside from about 20 taps of beer, cider and mead it sold vapes and synthetic weed. I don’t know what I was thinking. I quit vaping after a weird lockdown phase and would never do synthetic weed. The two beers we ordered were fine (there were no local beers recommended) and were about $30 AUD.

Searching for a second round elsewhere, we ended up at this sports bar wanting some standard beers and pool. That’s when I saw the pool was 4 Francs ($6.90 AUD) per 15 minutes. I don’t think Katie and I have every played a game of pool in 15 fucking minutes. I’m now realising the pricing structure didn’t even give a discount for multiple units purchased! The sign just does the maths for you! I was over it then and I’m over it now. We bought nothing and you know what happened next.

Rage

I understand now Jet d'Eau doesn’t waste water because it simply pumps it in and out of the lake but I was seeing red and it wasn’t just because all of the flags everywhere. Genuinely, I respect the fuck out of the Swiss. They know they are outsiders and they’re proud of it. Switzerland has made their own niche, their point of difference but if you’re not a dodgy multimillionaire or higher, you’re going to feel like the outsider there instead.

Being honest, I’ll go back to Switzerland again. It’s beautiful, has a variety of interesting cultural quirks and due to it’s location, it’s a great stepping stone in any European trip. Previously I’ve been to Lucerne but I’d like to visit Bern and Zurich too eventually. For three days though, no more. After that, I find I don’t want to spend any more money because I’ve already laid down double my budget and have none left.

As for a return to Geneva, it’s on my list. It’s so far at the very bottom of my list that it’s touching my toes but it’s still on the list.